It's been a long time since I posted. But things, as is their want, change. Beth has pancreatic cancer. She hasn't been well for over a year, with recurring bouts of anemia and abdominal pain. The cancer finally showed it's hand when she developed severe jaundice and overall weakness. 

This was about a week ago after spending 5 days in the hospital. A stent was placed in her pancreas in order to drain accumulated bite in an effort to relieve her jaundice. It may be working , but it's damn slow. I keep telling myself it took weeks to get to the level of jaundice she had, so it will probably take a while to clear up.

So, current status. She's incredibly week as the anemia has returned. Hoping to start some sort of treatment this coming week, even if it's a just a return to the infusion clinic for iron infusions. She needs to get stronger for what may be coming.

I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that I'm going to lose her. I don't want to be alone, but it doesn't really matter what I want. I want her to be as well as possible as this illness plays out to the invertible conclusion.

I'm going to try to update this record, mostly to try to keep my head on straight. It's going suck.