I’m not sure how to take or even if I can take any more drama in my life.

I really do feel bad for Beth. In fact, I’m kind of devastated. She has taken an incredible amount of shit from the Psych department during her first year as a Psych resident. I understand that Beth can be frustrating to work with since she is somewhat scattered, but nothing that she has done justifies the treatment that she has received. She is an immensely talented physician and is respected by so many in the medical community that it is almost incomprehensible how the p.o.s.’s in the residency program can behave the way they have. I have absolutely no respect for these losers, and really would like to call them out as gutless worthless scum bags.

Beth is the type of person that truly identifies herself by her profession. At some point in her career, I think she was able to take a great deal of satisfaction and fulfillment from being a doc. And then it went away. And it hasn’t come back, thanks to the ill-thought out decision to go back to a residency. Oh well.

Not that I haven’t had employment issues, and that my career wasn’t on the rocks. It sucked, and yes I was pretty depressed. Beth has told me several times during my little drama that she couldn’t take it any more and that I had to go see a professional. So I did. Three pros to be exact, and none of them were particularly interested in what I had to say. The last one basically told me that I wasn’t mentally ill enough for her to bother with. Nice.

So here we are again, Beth is devastated and I’m stuck holding the bag. Our house is a disaster, as her hoarding and my negligence has caused an untold amount of shit to collect in every room of the house. I’m not allowed to throw anything away without Beth’s approval, but she never, repeat never, has the stamina required to actually address these issues. Anytime I bring it up, it turns into a me-against-her scenario where all I’m trying to do is somehow control her and impose my time frame and sense of urgency on her. Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but c’mon, our life is a shambles and I’m not allowed to do anything about it.

The financial burden of both of us bouncing around various jobs is also starting to build. Beth went on a monologue last night regarding how she has worked so hard but not be anywhere “ahead”. Well, look out in the driveway, look at the water and electricity bills we have to pay because one of us never turns anything off, look at the giant credit card bill that was run up during an employment sabbatical, and look at all the HUGE vet bills we have racked up this past year. Let’s see, there is also the issue of insurance on the X-3 almost doubling this year because one of us has accidentally driven into two different stationary objects. Hmmm, not getting ahead? Well, DUH!

I love the hell out of Beth, but I can’t take this much longer. I am so totally overwhelmed by her neuroses that I almost don’t even fit in our house any more. And I’m not going to get any relief from this issue until Beth gets done with the residency crisis. Will there be other crises hot on its heels which will prevent her from facing some of the issues waiting for her in our home? Stay tuned. If I was a betting man, however, I’d say don’t hold your breath.

Peace.