Bright and early on a Wednesday morning, I’m wondering where this latest drama will go. I got totally railed at last night talking to Beth about how to manage our finances during her employment hiatus.

The sharpest riposte….”All you want to talk about is money when I’m dying of breast cancer.”

Wow.

The next….”Don’t worry about money, all this will be yours when I’m dead.”

Wow. Oh wait, I already said that.

I understand that she is scared right now, and she has the genetic reason to be so. Her breast definitely has a mottled patch, which could be an indicator of breast cancer. But c’mon, neither of us need to invent any future incident or condition and use it as an excuse to FREAK OUT!!

I don’t know how to help her out anymore. It doesn’t matter what I say, she’s determined to be miserable right now. Hopefully some of this will go away with her doctor’s appointment this coming Friday. If we get bad news, we’ll have to deal with it.

I feel bad that I said she was hanging around not doing anything. That is really not true. She’s been cleaning up like mad. She’s taking care of the dogs, and actually getting some exercise. She’s started her job search as well as the process to get reimbursed for all the doctor’s visits that she didn’t claim. All these positive things, and she’s still miserable.

There’s a lot of darkness out there waiting to ambush us and put a damper on our happiness. The pursuit of happiness is not an easy task, as it is way to easy to give into the darkness and become obsessed with the drama of all the shitty things that could happen to us. Or wallow around in all the shitty things that have already happened to us.

We used to be able to face this stuff down as a couple, and move on. We used to have fun.

Damn. Stay tuned. Wish us luck.

Peace.