It’s working its way to the end of the year. I’m not sorry to see 2007 go as there were several events that will stand out as totally sucky in my year end review.

Specifically:

1 (with a bullet): Pearl died. ‘nuff said.

2: I got laid off. This event could be shoved lower down the stack, but the overall result of getting laid off has sent the remainder of any of my career ambitions sliding down the chute into a large vat of steamy stinky shit. Really.

3: Beth’s psychiatry residency cratered. I got to witness my love’s career ambitions and enthusiasm slide down the same chute and vat my career fell into.

4: Taxes. I seem to have gone on a tax preparation holiday for the past two years. See no. 2.

5: Lila. So far this year, we have had to spend almost $5K to keep Lila up and going. I don’t know what is worse, spending the money or just gutting it out and making the decision to let the little girl go. She’s our kid, but it’s getting so we can’t afford her health care. She’s currently at Acequia where they are trying to figure out why she hasn’t moved much in three days and pretty much whines all the time. Prognosis…..bleak.

6: My marriage. Normally I wouldn’t even dare to write this down out loud, but I’m really wondering what it’s going to take to spark our relation up again. Beth is pretty uninterested in me. Her attention seems to be very inward focused these days with a lot of time spent on revisiting her unsuccessful residency, her mortality (yikes!), and her dead mom. It’s a chore keeping a relationship together, but I have the feeling that I’m loosing.

7: Our finances. The lack of big income has definitely left a hole in our finances that I’m not able to keep filling. Hrrrmph. I’m still spending money on pretty frivolous things, and have not quite decided why this is necessary. With that said, nothing I’ve bought is going to make a huge difference in the overall state of the union (as he says in full delusion mode). This is another item that could repair itself if Beth went back to work as a doctor, but it’s starting to bug me and ring hollow when I tell Beth that she could not go back to work and we’ll manage. That statement is basically flat out wrong, and it’s a total lie when I say it. With a little work I could probably cut it, but as it is right now, we need some income from Beth.

OK, now for some positives,

1: We both still have our health, mostly. Beth’s shoulder surgery has been a bit of a setback. I’m as fat as I have ever been and basically quit exercising. This can be remedied, as I climb back on the eternal dieter wagon.

2: All of our families are well and safe. We need to go to San Diego more often, but all-in-all, we keep in touch with our siblings and they are all doing well.

3: I have a job. Boyle has started out slow, and I’m certainly not setting any efficiency records, but it looks like a good place to work and deserves my attention.

4: Iris is now a part of our family. She’s a great successor to our pit bull legacy.

5: I’ve not lost any friends this year, with maybe the exception of a co-worker at my previous employ.

It’s way harder to find the positives to write about. So many reasons, and possibly because there really are more negatives at the moment. Certainly it’s the negatives that give us the most problems and cause the most sleepless nights.

OK, it’s a wrap. 2007 ends with this country still in a meaningless war; the wealthy are the best represented in terms of legislation and justice; the planet is straining and groaning under the weight of the human virus.

There is hope from all of the Democratic senators that are running for prez in terms of ending the war, restoring the US’s standing in the world and even making positive strides towards healing the environment. At least I’d like to think so.

Peace.